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A Closer Look at Breezy Point

Photo credit: Dina Temple-Raston/NPR

A few weeks ago I posted some options for people who might want to help out with the devastation in the states affected by Hurricane Sandy. One of the aid efforts listed was a community fundraising project for the Breezy Point neighborhood started by a young college student, Matthew Petronis. To get the word out about the grass roots effort in Breezy Point and to practice the important skill of writing solid questions to discover information, my high school English students collaborated on a series of interview questions to which Matthew graciously responded. one tiny violet is pleased to host the results of the student interview below.

Where were you when Hurricane Sandy arrived and what was your reaction to news of the devastation?

When Hurricane Sandy arrived I was in my dorm room at college (Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C). I found out about the devastation the morning after the hurricane arrived. I woke up and went on face book and saw all the devastation and homes demolished through videos and pictures.

What inspired you to help raise money for your community?

It wasn’t really an inspiration, it was more of instant reaction. I sat in my room feeling terrible for my community and I thought to myself, “No use sitting here sobbing. How can I create a way to help and keep my friends positive?” Breezy Point is a town where everyone helps each other out in any situation. This was my way of helping out.

There is a ticker on your website counting down the days remaining to reach the fund goal of $500,000. Why the time limit? And how will the funds raised be used to assist Breezy Point residents?

There really is no limit to days or money raised. I just put it on the page to see how much we could raise in 90 days. As for the fund goal, the sky’s the limit — we will take anything we can get. The funds will be used to help all of the victims of the hurricane. Many people have insurance on their homes, but are receiving little to nothing for them. And some people don’t have insurance at all. This fund will go directly to aiding them in the rebuilding process and to helping Breezy Point rebuild as a community.

How are you keeping up with your classes at CUA in addition to juggling this fundraising project?

I have learned through my life to handle the cards you’re dealt. I never expected this to happen, so I’m just handling it like I’ve handled everything in my life. I have always played sports and been a part of clubs from middle school and up. Playing sports and participating in after school activities has taught me to juggle multiple things at once and still maintain myself in my studies.

Where is your home in relation to those that sustained the most damage in Breezy Point? Was your home damaged as well and to what extent?

My home is on the west side of Breezy, closest to the jetty that divides Jamaica Bay and the Atlantic Ocean. My home was severely flooded and the deck around my home was torn apart.

It has been three weeks since Hurricane Sandy hit. How are things looking in your neighborhood now? Are schools and churches or businesses operating? Give us some sense of how people are coping, especially with winter and the holidays approaching.

Every one in Breezy is holding their own. No businesses are open due to lack of power or clean water. The Red Cross and many other organizations have done their part to help and spirits are high with all the support.

What place in Breezy Point holds special memories for you that you would most like to see rebuilt and why?

The field in the center of Breezy. It was where all my CYO sports were held and it was a safe haven to many who wanted to get away from school work or anything else going on in their lives.

What are your religious views and did they play a role in your decision to help your community?

I am Christian and my beliefs helped me all along the way and have not stopped. I have been taught to do what is right and when help is needed, you find a way to help in any way possible.

What has been the most difficult struggle you’ve experienced since helping to organize this project?

I haven’t had any struggles so far and do not plan on having any in the future because everyone in the U.S has been so supportive and I don’t see that slowing down in the near future.

God can make good come out of any situation or tragedy. What good has resulted from Hurricane Sandy? What lessons have you learned from your experience that others might benefit from?

Although my town was destroyed, things like this make my community even stronger than it was before. If this has taught me anything it’s to always stay positive, don’t give up, and that someone out there wants to help you.

This interview was conducted by Michelle Hall, Rebecca Plaster, Misha Johnston, Marissa Sigala, and Matthew Boucher, who would like to thank Matthew Petronis for his time in answering the questions.

For information about the Breezy Point Fund or to donate click here.

The Sacrament of the Present Moment

The Holy Grail, by Dante Gabriel Rossetti

One of the very best books I read this summer — perhaps all year — was Christian McEwan’s lovely World Enough and Time: On Creativity and Slowing Down. I posted an excerpt here that really spoke to me. Christian points true north in her recommendation that we reclaim quiet and slowness, and relearn to savor awareness in lives too often gone awry by speed, haste, and multi-tasking, our creativity and imagination suffocated by the noise that attends these harried, unfocused but increasingly “normal” behaviors. I have an intrinsic horror of chaos and I do not believe it is possible for me to live a truly creative life, in either a spiritual or an artistic sense,  in an environment that seeks to encourage chaos instead of order, harmony, and balance.

The truth is, I don’t have to participate in the chaos. I do have a choice, though I may be made to feel as though I don’t, or that in exercising my choice to slow down and swim on my own side of the stream I am somehow “not with it” and need to “get up to speed.” I’ve been struggling with the sense that my life, my mind, my health, and my world have all been unravelling with greater speed and urgency over the last couple of years, so Christian’s book was just what the doctor ordered. I took quite seriously her encouragement to “Choose to refuse,” and have been practicing the simple art of saying “No,” along with the attendant art of not apologizing or feeling guilty for saying it and using the resulting new-found time to be more available to the opportunities God is offering to me in the sacrament of the present moment.

Being more present to what is happening in the moment is necessarily going to look different for each person. It all depends on how plugged in or overextended you are. A good friend of mine is experimenting with unplugging from the Internet each weekend to allow for quiet spaces to process her writing. One thing I’m doing is trying to stay with the task at hand and resist heartily the urge to multi-task — meaning if I’m helping my son with his math lesson and the phone rings, I let it ring. This is extremely difficult to do because as a full-time mother and housewife, full-time home schooler, and part-time high school teacher I’ve got my hands full and there is rarely a moment when someone doesn’t want or need something from me. How do I meet everyone’s needs and still have something left over? Prayer is essential, but so is slowing down and making a place for quiet and a more moderate pace through the day.

One of the things people praise our current Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, for is his ability to make the person with whom he is speaking feel like the only person in the world. This is a tall order. But should it be? Why is it so hard for us to pay attention to who or what is right in front of us, without being distracted by something or someone else? Obviously, prudence and discretion is required: if I’m driving and my son wants me to look at or listen to something that requires too much of my attention, well, he simply has to wait. Keeping us alive and safe in that moment is the most important thing. But in this time of instant gratification and self-centered social interactions, this kind of patience is difficult to acquire and practice, for others and for ourselves. Yet it seems to me essential. Rather than whipping myself and others into higher speed, I must learn to be OK with allowing myself and others to move slow, appreciating the time it takes to be on task and do a job well and thoroughly before moving on to something else, and allowing the person I’m interacting with the gift of my full and undivided attention. Because God is present to me in the moment, not in the next thing on my to-do list, not in what I could be doing instead. But right there, in what I am doing NOW, in who I am with NOW.

Michelle Aldredge at gwarlingo has taken up the clarion call issued in McEwan’s World Enough and Time and has an article today about Christian and her book as part of her new series on creativity, which I highly recommend following — it’s worth every minute you’ll spend reading. You can also hear an interview with Christian on Writer’s Voice with Francesca Rheannon. Christian’s book is worth seeking out and reading slowly. Treat it like a personal retreat, a gift to yourself, a promise to take back some of what you might be allowing to be taken from you. Reading it may be a step towards reclaiming a more creatively aware, spiritually intuitive self. Not everyone is going to be happy with your choosing to refuse and not everyone will understand the grace that will be revealed to you in each moment that you choose to pay attention and focus on what is happening NOW. But you’ll be better for it and the inner change it will work in you will be evidence that you’re on the right path to living a saner, more peaceful, more present life.

What have you got to lose?

Bella Vacanza

My good friend, Todd Hansen, has graciously agreed to allow me to post his reflections and pictures from his recent trip to Italy! When I’m unable to get much beyond the confines of home, sharing armchair travel with friends is a breath of fresh air that satisfies the wanderlust — at least temporarily.  I hope you enjoy! And thanks again, Todd, for sharing your beautiful experience with others.

I have to tell you about a beautiful vacation to Italy that my girlfriend and I took this summer! It was way better than we anticipated and involved planes, trains, automobiles, and many boats.

We had a beautiful room on the island across from Venice (Giudecca) for 2 nights. Of course, this is where the boats come in: boat from airport to hotel, frequent shuttles to Venice, and a very nice gondola ride.

The view from the hotel at Giudecca. Photo courtesy of Todd Hansen.

We both love the classic Italian preparation of Seabass (traditional Branzino) the whole fish, de-boned and looking at you, with lemon and herbs. So I ordered it 3 times on the trip! Each time was different, one being so lightly breaded, you could call it “dusted”. Each preparation was a savoury delight.

Then, a high speed train out of Venice to Rome was a great idea. There, we picked up a rental Fiat for our drive to Sorrento, 3 hours South. It was a wonderful drive that took us right around the base of Mt. Vesuvius. My driving skills were tested coming into the sloping cliffs of Sorrento on a busy weekend. I didn’t hit one scooter!

The Sorrento Coast. Photo courtesy of Todd Hansen.

I was treated to a perfect birthday dinner in Sorrento overlooking the Tyrrhenian Sea. The next day we jumped on a large ferry to Capri for a daylong excursion of even narrower roads (with a great taxi driver), molta bella views of the Tyrrhenian, and a dip into the ancient waters.

Back at the Sorrento hotel lounge for a drink, we found ourselves devouring a complimentary plate of olives (one of many bar snacks). Seems they had a perfect blend of fennel seeds, peppers, and olive oil, one we would never be able to re-create on our own. And it gets better! The 30 year veteran bartender, Gemmaro, served me the best cocktail I’ve had in recent years: an Alexander — my first experience of the drink & also my girlfriend’s last name.

On our way out of Sorrento, we thought we would swing over to Positano for lunch. This is the famous Amalfi Coast where the homes and buildings are built on sloping, rocky hills right down to the water. It is a must see. And I recommend doing so from a nice little restaurant overlooking the coast with a plate of Pasta Carbonara in front of you — Scusi, more pepper please!

The Amalfi Coast. Photo courtesy of Todd Hansen.

Next stop: Pompeii. Not an easy park to find, but once we did our luck improved greatly. After walking around a bit, we asked a worker for advice and he proceeded to give us a quick guided tour of the highlights that we would never have found on our own. We saw a beautiful fresco, an ancient grape crusher, and to my amazement – actual human remains from that fateful day in 79 AD.

Once we got back to Rome we were quite exhausted from the long, hot drive. But our hotel was another pleasant surprise, with a wonderful balcony for 2. So we relaxed with some local olives and wine. Now we had to try to give Rome it’s due respect in one day! We set out for the Colosseum early the next day and again we stumbled upon a group tour that worked out for the best. The 2 guides were very informative about the Colosseum and nearby ruins.

The Roman Colosseum. Photo courtesy of Todd Hansen.

Even though it was a national holiday, we thought we should go to The Vatican to push our good luck. Now, I’ve seen a lot of big Italian churches from my previous trip to Italy, but St. Peter’s Basilica is by far the biggest — OMG! Luckily, Lorna begged a scarf for her shoulders so that we could witness the magnificence of the Pope’s home turf.

After such a grand display, I needed a drink. So we hoofed it over to Trevi Fountain for a sip of water supplied by an ancient Roman Aqueduct (working almost continuously since 19 BC!) and some Italian Pinot Grigio. It was amazing to me how there are remnants of Roman Aqueduct all around the city. These are very old structures, proudly secure amongst buildings of steel and glass, quick moving autos, and time itself.

Todd and Lorna at Trevi Fountain, Rome. Photo courtesy of Todd Hansen.

So you can see we did a lot in a short amount of time thanks to my girlfriend’s expert planning. We both agreed on the highlight of the trip: the food. It was all so flavourful and fresh, inventive and classic, and yet you knew you were eating healthier than home.

Want to sample Todd’s authentic Alexander cocktail? Here’s the quintessential Italian how-to.

This post is dedicated to my friend, Ruth Nina Walsh, who has a great love of travel and art and who has always wished to visit Italia. Buon Viaggio!

The Summer Bookshelf

One of my favorite things about summer is the extra time it affords me to lose myself in books. As a child, I remember whole afternoons spent reading after chores were done. Sometimes I hid away in a makeshift tent of blankets. Other times, I nestled for awhile in the tree in our front yard, just high enough so the random passer-by couldn’t see me from the street. I always felt like I was doing something special and secret and wonderful. Then there were days when my friend and I would pack up some snacks and traipse across the street from her small farm in the wash that ran through town and climb to the top of the low hill to find a place under the trees where we’d spend the afternoon reading comics.

The sheer luxury of this type of relaxed reading is now whittled away by the busy days of parenthood and home schooling, work and life in general. I spend most of the rest of the year reading for work — as an English teacher this is both a privilege and a curse. I DO get to read some of the greatest works every written, but I also HAVE to read those works, whether I’m in the mood for them or not. Those days of total freedom to read wherever and whatever the wind blew my way were truly remarkable and while I can look back with greater appreciation now, in hindsight, I have a sense that I realized the gift of those pockets of time and to revel in that freedom even then.

Child Reading, By Pierre-Auguste Renoir

The reason I can say this is because I see the same awareness in my own son. At 10 & 1/2, he is aware enough to realize the gift of being given hours a day to lose himself in books and to look forward to it with great excitement. He himself has told me often that he didn’t hear me because “I was so engrossed in my book.” He has this knowing, this relationship with books, this sense of passing time without worry or care, somewhere far off. For him, one of the high points of every summer is signing up for the Summer Reading Program at the library. Actually, it’s a high point for both of us since a couple of years ago we discovered that I could sign up for the adult program and it was something the two of us could do together. We are fortunate that our main library here has an excellent Friends of the Library volunteer group which hosts a Festival of Folktales every June to kick off the Reading Program. Skippy has me mark the calendar months ahead and eagerly awaits this afternoon filled with games and music, shows and books. It’s a sign to us both that we’re done with the hard work of the year and have a few weeks to relax the pace and spend extra hours turning pages on the patio or on the beach.

This year has been particularly busy and challenging for me for many reasons. So much so that I could hardly slow my brain and heart down enough to dream about what I might want to read. As Skippy and I wandered the stacks on the Festival day, each taking turns hunting out the titles which were to earn pride of place on our bookshelf, I felt bereft and disconnected and unsettled. Nothing was speaking to me. I shared this uncomfortable and unusual (for me) feeling with Skippy.

Without missing a beat, he said confidently, “Mom, read something fun! Why don’t you read something classic? Read something you’ve read before! Books are made to be read again and again. That’s what the classics are for. Read Frankenstein. It doesn’t matter if you’ve read it before. I’ve read books over again. Read something you WANT to read.”

His words sort of stopped me in my tracks. Was this my son? Where did he acquire such wisdom, and at such a young age? Clearly, the years spent doing exactly what he was now encouraging me to do had had an impact on him. It took seconds for me to reach out then and take Virginia Woolf’s The Voyage Out off the shelf and add it to my bundle. A classic? Yes. Read before? Yes, nearly 15 years ago. Perfect for a summer read? Yes, absolutely.

Woman Reading In A Cashmere Shawl, by John Singer Sargent

Skippy’s advice broke the barrier for me and opened the door to a better mindset, one open to greeting summer and those delectable hours to be shared together lost in books. The Voyage Out wasn’t the only book I chose. It joined a long list of other happy choices: The Beekeeper’s Lament, A Gift From the Sea, poetry from Ranier Marie Rilke, Mere Christianity, Surprised By Joy, and Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self. I am also looking forward to (finally) finishing Treasure Island with Skippy and starting The Lord of the Rings together. We’re also planning our first excision into audio books with To Kill a Mockingbird. Finally, a friend and I are hoping to read and discuss Woolf’s Orlando together.

I may get to all or only some of these. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is the hours are free to dip in and take my time and luxuriate in turning those pages for yet another summer. That I am able to enjoy this with my son, and that he realizes this gift, makes it all that much sweeter.

And you? What’s on your summer bookshelf?

Beauty Break: Taking the Time to Listen

Photo credit: Lisa Marie Mazzucco

I’ve been stalking Simone Dinnerstein for about a year now, since I heard this interview with her on NPR last year when she spoke about her unique interpretation of the music of Johann Sebastian Bach and her new album Strange Beauty. I was captivated by her presence in the interview and her unique perspective on Bach’s music, which is unlike anything I’d ever heard.

Funny how God listens — we think we aren’t being heard and then suddenly a wish to satisfy the soul’s longing for beauty comes true. I’d wanted to hear Ms. Dinnerstein since I heard her on the radio and then suddenly news came through the local symphony that she’d be playing in a recital for the Corona del Mar Baroque Festival, right in my own back yard. I had to go.

Last night, I was not only able to finally purchase Strange Beauty, but was able to hear Ms. Dinnerstein play live at the Segerstrom Concert Hall in Costa Mesa. A true beauty break. I simply floated away, eyes closed, on a cloud of baroque dreams. Since I’d had an uber-busy day, I was very aware of how uptight I felt when I arrived at the concert. But as Ms. Dinnerstein began to play, I gradually felt the tension, fatigue, and anxiety of the day melt away as my breathing slowed and became more regular and I just closed my eyes and gave myself over to the music, entranced, relaxed, at peace.

Something about the way her fingers flitted along the gleaming white piano keys like a dragonfly over a water-lily . . . Something about the diaphanous way she coaxed Bach’s fluted flurry of notes lightly out of the keys . . . She at once gave voice to his compositions for clavichord and harpsichord while at the same time making them her own.

A few things occurred to me while I was listening to and watching this gifted musician. She’d memorized each of the four extremely complex pieces she chose to play for this recital. This is simply amazing to me. I know a little — very little — about the difficulty of what I saw her doing with her hands, and the timing of the pieces she shared, to appreciate the delicate and complex beauty of her choices and her approach to expressing them.

Another thing I noticed was the depth of her gift and how long and hard she certainly has had to work to cultivate such mastery of her art. She makes it look easy, effortless, but I know this is an illusion. For myself as a writer, Ms. Dinnerstein is an apt role model. Writing should have rhythm and order, structure and beauty. Good writing, beautiful writing, should be musical at its very heart. Ms. Dinnerstein approaches music something like a painter or a writer — perhaps because her father is an artist — and is acutely aware of her “voice” as a musician, what she brings to a piece that makes it uniquely her own. I desire to have such fluidity in the practice of my craft and its end results and ultimately such an awareness of a signature voice in my own work.

Finally, the experience of slowing down after a rat-race day just made me more aware of how much more of a concerted effort I need to make to reduce the clutter in my life and make a place for slow beauty. Taking my time, trying to live more in the present moment will enable me to be more open to whatever gift the moment holds. There can be a “strange beauty” even in the difficult times and Ms. Dinnerstein’s perspective on Bach reminds me to try to pay attention to that.

Curious to know more about this brilliant artist? Need an extra special beauty break?  Take a few minutes to check out the links here, or simply sit back, relax for a moment, and enjoy this gorgeous video.

The New Noblewoman: An Authentic Feminine Mystique For This Generation

If you’ve increasingly felt distanced from the superficial, politicized, less than intelligent propaganda that currently passes itself off as “literature and media for women” then welcome to a breath of fresh air, a place where the unique inner life of the feminine spirit and mind is nurtured and cultivated, prized and revered. Welcome to The New Noblewoman (TNN).

Amanda Millay Lanier, founder and editor of TNN has graciously agreed to be interviewed for one tiny violetAmanda has created something totally unique to fill a noticeable void in the realm of women’s magazines and her work is simply saturated with BEAUTY!  Of course,  I fell in love with her publication and wanted to share it with you here. Grab a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and spend some time with Amanda as she shares her thoughts on beauty, the essence of what it means to be a woman, her eye for fine art, and her plans for the future of The New Noblewoman, then pop right over and check out the magazine!

one tiny violet (otv): How did the idea for The New Noblewoman (TNN) come about? In what ways is it different from other women’s magazines today?

Amanda Millay Lanier (AML): The concept actually started as a book. I’ve always been fascinated by history, especially the images of daily life in well-done historical dramas. I’ve always wished I could “go back in time,” but rather than simply pine away for the old days, I decided to figure out how to incorporate those elements into my life today. I started researching and writing a book that would describe the houses, clothing, food, and customs of women throughout history, and talk about how women can live similarly in the modern world. But given how hard it can be to find a publisher, and how discouraging it would be to work on a project for years with no feedback, I decided to create a website instead.

The New Noblewoman is different from other women’s magazines in a couple of main areas. One is that the articles—whether on style or gardening—draw heavily from the past. Reading TNN is a combination of a regular women’s magazine and a history lesson.

Armand Point, "The Golden Legend," 1898

Another difference is the images that accompany the articles. The world is filled with incredible artwork—yet magazines always use these awful staged photographs of models or celebrities. So reading TNN is also a way to get an art education as well, and it’s much more visually appealing than the typical women’s magazine due to the artwork.

A third key difference is in the values the site promotes: TNN is for modern women who are dealing with real problems—whether it’s what clothing to buy, relating to your spouse, or keeping a New Year’s resolution. But TNN focuses on ways to address these issues with wisdom and values that are timeless and emphasize good character and honor (both things that are rarely addressed directly in the typical women’s magazine).

otv: What does it mean to be a “noblewoman” in today’s society? Is it simply one facet of being a woman, or does it encompass several aspects of women’s experience?

William Blake, "Jacob's Ladder" 1800

AML:I think any woman can choose to be a “noblewoman” today. In ancient Greek, the word aristocrat simply means “the best,” and any woman today can be the best type of woman she aspires to.

And being the best (i.e., being “a new noblewoman”) should be something that infuses every aspect of a woman’s being—the way she walks, how she dresses, what type of food she prepares, what she does in her leisure time.

Of course, there isn’t just one set script for any of these things. Although TNN discusses etiquette and classic style, I think being noble is primarily about discovering your true self and fully exploring your talents. The only required aspect to being noble today (which is the same as it was throughout history) involves seeking out the higher aspects of life rather than being caught up in the materialistic, consumer society that surrounds us and is propagandized to us every day. That higher aspect could be through a love of art, literature, philosophy, homemaking, mothering, politics, or religion.

otv: How do you imagine the reader of TNN and what can that reader expect when she visits TNN for the first time?

AML: The readership of TNN is very diverse. There are women readers from college-age to middle-age, and a number of men too! We have a slideshow that features some recent articles and most popular articles, which provides a showcase of featured artwork. A reader can explore the website by the latest articles, which start on the homepage, or browse by topic. Our categories are Beauty & Style, Home & Garden, A Woman Should Know, Relationships & Etiquette, Poetry, and Inspirationals (a selection of inspiring quotes).

otv: The tagline for TNN – “The Art of True Womanhood” – raises two interesting questions: What does it mean to be a true woman? And in what ways is being this true woman an art?

AML: One thing that all nobles in history have in common is their emphasis on religion—since it’s only recently that there have been societies that are completely secular.   Whether it was pagan Rome, Hindus in India, or Christianity throughout the Middle Ages, the nobility were supposed to be ruled by spiritual guidelines and submit to the authority of the priests. If they didn’t have religious guidelines to temper their hearts, it would be easy for people with so much power to rule badly and no longer be the protectors of the people (and we have countless examples in history of when this happened). So I think the deepest truth of what it means to be a woman relates to her life as a spiritual being.

Frank Cadogan Cowper, "La Belle Dame sans Merci," 1926

There’s a lot of debate about what constitutes an art—nowadays almost anything crafty or creative is called art, and I think we’ve become a little too generous in the definition. I think an art should be something that requires extensive practice, combined with skill, and also be something that impacts the core of one’s being. You can be a fabulous musician, but if there’s no feeling in it, then you’re merely a highly skilled technician rather than an artist. And being a woman is no different—it requires training, education, practice (and failure!), as well as the capacity to feel. Women have to switch between so many roles in one day—bring a nurturing mother, a sensual lover, a hard-minded businesswoman (even if it’s only a household budget), and a creative artist for her own projects—being a woman really does seem like a lifelong practice in mastering an art.

otv: You’ve worked as a journalist. How have your experiences in journalism and media shaped your vision for TNN?

AML: One thing that I love about the Internet is that it’s allowed so many great websites and blogs to flourish that never existed in the days of print journalism. It also allows for a greater variety of opinions, since not everyone on the Internet is beholden to the interests of their advertisers and owners. But one thing I don’t like about the Internet is how casual it’s made writing, due to attention spans getting shorter and the desire of audiences for quick, superficial blurbs of information. With TNN, I bring back more of an essay style for articles, and try to make every article actually worth reading. There are no catchy headlines that fail to deliver any substance.

My first job was at a newspaper, and as a print journalist you’re taught that the space you have for words is very valuable. It could be worth hundreds of dollars in advertising, so you have to make each sentence valuable. You’re also not allowed to delve into your own feelings and experiences like people do with blogs. But readers do like personal stories, so it’s been a challenge to add a little bit of personality to articles, while keeping it at the level of a magazine rather than a personal blog.

otv: In a recent article on TNN discussing the film Coco and Igor, you distinguish between the way the two female characters are presented in the film and posit the question as to which one offers the best model for women. The answer, you suggest, lies in women “maintaining a reverence and adherence to traditional customs and rites, combined with a modern self-determination to follow one’s dreams.” What do you see as the greatest difficulty women today have in achieving this balance? How do you see TNN helping today’s woman aspire to and achieve a balance between these two ideals?

AML: In the film Coco and Igor, the traditional lifestyle isn’t completely working for Stravinsky’s wife. Some parts do—like retaining some Russian décor and clothing—but she’s not able to function well in the changing world and is out-of-touch with her daughters. But Coco Chanel is a little too modern. She’s a little too hard-headed for her business and doesn’t respect the sacred rite of marriage.

Pierre-Auguste Renoir, "Umbrellas," 1883

I think of traditions—whether religious, cultural, or familial—as living things that go beyond the mere external forms, but the external forms are important as well. For example, everyone knows that clothing doesn’t make the person—we don’t say a woman wearing pants is “less of a woman” than one in a long dress. But in a way, clothing does impact the person wearing it quite profoundly. Putting on an evening dress and fine jewelry causes us to act differently than when we’re wearing jean shorts; walking into Notre Dame Cathedral produces a type of spiritual awe that we don’t feel when walking into a church in an office building with TV screens everywhere.

I think about (and struggle with) the dichotomy between a traditional lifestyle and modern individuality every day, and many of the articles on TNN are inspired by my daily life. And these are questions that many women have. How do we dress in a way that’s inspired by the past, without looking like we’re in a Halloween costume? How do we adhere to traditional customs, even for simple things like serving tea, without seeming either pretentious or silly? How can we be traditional wives, while also protecting ourselves financially? I’ll be exploring all of these things as I reshape my own life to better fit my ideals, so readers can follow along on my journey and share their own experiences as well.

otv: One of the functions of TNN is as a virtual art gallery, which is unique. Can you tell us about some of your favorite artists? What message does their work convey about women and beauty that you feel is important today?

AML: My favorite painters are probably the Pre-Raphaelites, since their paintings are not only visually beautiful, but depict stories and myths that are very moving as well. Some of my favorites are John Everett Millais, Edward Burne-Jones, John William Waterhouse, and Eleanor Fortescue-Brickdale.

As for contemporary artists, I love the genre of pop surrealism, especially Nicoletta Ceccoli, Camille Rose Garcia, Joe Sorren, Marc Burckhardt, Ray Caesar, and Mark Ryden—all who draw from the old masters but with a modern flair.

Most of these artists present very idealized images of women, combined with aesthetics from the ancient world, Arthurian legend, or the world of European drawing rooms. These are worlds that, while not better than the present in every way, women long for and are inspired by. I think it’s important to showcase such images to demonstrate the level of beauty that is possible in a society. As the world continues to change, many readers of TNN will be involved in defining how we want our cities, neighborhoods, and homes to be, and considering the great wealth we have today and the advances we’ve made in technology, there’s no reason that we can’t aspire to revive or reinterpret the most beautiful examples from the past.

otv: How is the art you choose for the magazine reflective of the image you’d like to cultivate, both for the magazine and your readership?

AML: Nowadays art has been replaced by advertising. If you look in a magazine, you won’t find any art, just pages and pages of artistic ads. These advertisements are trying to sell you a product, by using an image of a better world. I’m trying to sell that better world itself, and to teach women how to create it for themselves.

otv: Tell us about some of the women who are or have been an inspiration to you. What influence have they had on your concept for TNN?

Frances Macdonald, "Spring," c. 1900-05

AML: There are so many to choose from. I’ve always been fascinated by the stories of women who’ve struggled with having to choose between being an artist and being a wife and mother. These women often thought that women’s emancipation would have a great liberating effect for women, but I’m not convinced the situation is better for women today. Most women still have the same struggles, but with the added stress of working outside of the home added to the mix. In that genre, I’ve been inspired by the writers Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, and Philippa Burrell; the dancer Isadora Duncan; and the diarist and painter Marie Bashkirtseff.

otv: Many women today experience pressure to look, act, or dress a certain way that is not reflective of whom they are on the inside. What advice would you give to the woman who struggles to achieve a real sense of style or beauty in her daily life?

AML: That is so hard to do, and I struggle with it all the time. One of the biggest problems I’ve faced in the fashion arena is that shops today simply don’t offer the type of clothing I’d like to wear. To other women, I’d recommend spending some time reflecting on who you think you are as a woman (or who you want to become), and what type of clothing and lifestyle will help you feel that way.

I’m in the process of revamping my wardrobe (and plan to write about it soon). It involves getting rid of everything that doesn’t fit well or that doesn’t fit the image I want to cultivate for myself. By the time I’m finished, I’ll have much less in my closet, but it will only be the items I truly love—a better wardrobe overnight just by getting rid of things. I’ve found that I have to actually get rid of clothing or put it away, since otherwise I’d never put on a dress when it’s so much easier to throw on a pair of jeans.

As for other areas of life—Kierkegaard talked about how you can only go from one quality to another by a leap (a leap to faith). There are analogies to the type of spiritual despair he discussed even in unhappiness with style and beauty in one’s daily life. For women experiencing this, I think it takes one of these leaps to faith—to either becoming the person you truly think you should be or in freeing yourself of the image of what others think you should be. It takes a conscious decision to start living and thinking in a different way, combined with daily affirmations of the reasons why you’re changing (in order to keep at it until these changes become habits). Of course, this will only change you, and not any externals like having to work in an ugly cubicle or deal with unpleasant people, but eventually these external changes will start changing your spirit and the way you view and interact with the world too.

otv: The time-tested value of virtue and the practice of manners, of acting like ladies and gentlemen, has faded in popularity in today’s culture. How can mothers of young girls work to raise young women who know and value what it is to be a lady? Alternatively, how can mothers raise boys to be men who behave courteously and with a chivalric attitude towards young women?

AML: That is such a tough thing to teach these days! I was buying etiquette books when I was in elementary school, but the influences of other children and the television can make the work of the most devoted parent seem futile—even with a child like me, who had a natural inclination to these things.

Adam Emory Albright, "Children Playing With A Kite"

The most important advice is to get rid of cable TV, or at least screen what you let your kids watch. My husband and I use the money we save from not having TV to build a DVD library, and it works great. (Plus, forcing ourselves to wait until shows come out on DVD is good practice in not getting everything we want right away.)

For young girls, I’d advise finding books and movies that portray the values you want your daughters to have—art is very powerful in shaping ideals and values, especially of young people! Use what you can of their interests to guide them to better values: If they love Disney princesses, show them what princesses from fairy tales or from England are like, and help them to live like a princess in their life by doing volunteer work, respecting others, and being polite and tidy.

For young men, there are a lot of stories of knights and adventurers that can help them find chivalry interesting. Giving them chores and responsibilities that are described as “manly” can help them in their self-esteem, and instill in their minds that men and women are different, and that girls need a little more respect and care than their boy friends.

I’d also enroll both boys and girls in cotillion or dance classes around 4th to 8th grade (the age for these classes seems to vary by location). They’ll learn how to dance (which is one of the best ways to ensure your son will always be popular with the ladies!), will get used to wearing dresses or suits and interacting with the opposite sex in a more formal environment, and will learn a lot of social etiquette too.

I think it mostly comes down to determining what your standards are, sticking to them yourselves, and making your kids do those things too. Although it sounds petty, an explanation as simple and firm as “this is how our family does things,” can be enough to get kids to do something. After 20 years of having to write thank-you notes and make pleasant conversation during dinner, they’ll start bragging to their friends about their upbringing rather than complaining about it.

otv: What is your response to critics who say nobility is out of style or old-fashioned?

AML: There are several ways nobility can be interpreted. One is as “the best,” as I mentioned before. Another is as the rulers of a society. And another is as people of noble soul. And none of these will ever disappear. We will always have people considered “the best” in society and whom others try to emulate, and we will always have some kind of ruling class. Unfortunately, today these people are typically either celebrities or the capitalists who’ve made the most money. Part of the mission of The New Noblewoman is to change people’s perceptions back to what they were for most of history—that the best people are those of the best character, and that those are the ones who should be the leaders of society, whether in the political, artistic, or educational arenas.

otv: What made you decide to offer a free online platform for the magazine and is this platform crucial to TNN’s identity? Any plans for a print edition in the future?

AML: It would be great to have a print magazine in the future—but given the costs associated with printing, distributing, and managing a large staff of writers, designers, and a sales team—it’s not likely unless we receive a lot of investor interest.

I do have plans to do a series of books down the road—both free e-books and print books. Some will be original content, similar to the articles on the website. Others will be compilations of artwork, essays, and poetry. And there are some great books by women that are out of print (or in poor editions) that I’ve love to republish.

otv: Tell us some of your short- and long-term goals for the magazine as it grows.

AML: I’ll be starting a series on concert music, which will highlight some of the great classical recordings that can be seen for free on YouTube. I’ll also be doing more in the “Famous Lives” series and digging up some classic essays to reprint along with the poetry. Another new feature down the road will take readers through various museums and art galleries of the world, including some galleries of contemporary artists.

I’m also looking into starting a non-profit arm of The New Noblewoman. The response to the website so far has been amazing, and there are a lot of people interested in donating money but who need to have a tax write-off. Having a non-profit branch will allow TNN to be not only a website and publishing house, but to focus on outreach in order to start a bit of a cultural revolution among women.

Thank you, Amanda, for your gracious sharing and for the gift of The New Noblewoman — clearly a much-needed presence in women’s media. I encourage all of my one tiny violet readers to take a beauty break and visit The New Noblewoman regularly — it’s free! — to read all of the articles Amanda shares about here, and sign up to receive her weekly e-newsletter, which includes new content posted to the site.